Sunday

I am in Varanasi, India. It is March 6^th. It is hot here, daytime temperature reaching 90 deg F already. He was laying on the fourth step up from the Holy Ganges, which was serenely flowing by. He was in his eternal sleep. He had died just 2 hours earlier. About 10 members of the family were sitting chatting nearby.

I got the word of my cousin, Chhotu’s, death about an hour after he died from Anil, my host and my nephew during this trip to India .

The Hindu custom requires quick cremation of the dead. A half hour later I had started from Anil’s house with my late brother’s wife, my bhabhi, Shail Kumari, to join the family at this funeral.

Like most funerals, I met relatives after many years. Vibhaker (nickname “Chhotu”) was one of my many cousins. As I was growing up here several decades ago, Vibhakar was also a friend and buddy from age 10-14. We were all very poor. Sunday was our only day off, so he and I would go to the Ganges for a walk, or to a park, or walk 3-4 miles to go visit a temple.

Vibhakar was a year older than I. I last saw him 10 years ago and now he lay dead on the steps of the great river as I joined the family on those steps. This area of the river bank is called Mani-karni-ka-ghat, meaning a Ghat where death related functions are done. At this Ghat the cremation flames never end as bodies keep arriving from the city and the adjoining towns. Cremation here has divine significance. It is supposed to bring liberation from the cycle of reincarnation. After all it is the town of the Hindu God Shiva, part of the trinity of Vishnu, Brahma and Shiva. Vishnu at the top, Brahma the creator and Shiva the destroyer. Hindu’s believe that the Ganges is a celestial river which fell from the heavens to the earth and Shiva received it on his head to land it on the earth here in Varanasi.

Vibhakar’s body was wrapped in the top and bottom sheets of the bed in which he died and was brought to the river by the immediate family (his son, his brother’s sons, a grandson, etc). As they carried the body in the sheets, they chanted Ram Nam Satya Hai (the name of Rama is the truth). The wrapped body was dipped in the holy river then placed on the steps. It looked as though he were sleeping in a very tight fitting kayak made out of those sheets. I could see his face and all his toes, nothing else.

My longtime ago pal was dead. It was my last darshan (visit) of him. He was special, even though this was a good 50+ years ago that we were buddies for 5-6 years. I was stricken with sadness and said my turn is coming soon to die too. We all die but death is still frightening. Fifty some years of history flashed in my brain.

Vibhaker (“Chhotu”- means the little one) died a perfect death. He died of a heart attack around noon, with no suffering. By 2 p.m. the body was by the river. More family gradually arrived. His only son, Sudhakar, a tall, handsome fellow about 30, was clearly shaken from his father’s sudden death, but had to be in charge of all funeral details. This Ghat is well equipped to provide all materials, fire wood, priest, labor etc. to finish the cremation in an orderly fashion. Sudhakar took a quick bath in the river, and then put on all new white cotton summer clothing, a holy thread around his shoulders and waist. His entire head had been shaved except a few long strands in the center of his scalp.. In the mean time a 10 foot long stretcher (looks like a simple ladder) arrived. This ladder was made out of twp long bamboo poles, and eight crosspieces, tied onto the bamboo poles with burlap strings. After Sudhakar was ready the family moved the body onto the ladder, which had been covered by a new white sheet. The dead man’s wet clothes (wet because the body had been dipped into the river) were removed by the family, one by one, and the body smeared with fragrant oils. Then the priest began the ritual prayers. The son placed a flower garland around his father’s neck, and red powder was sprinkled on the body. The priest was reciting his rituals in Sanskrit, a standard Hindu custom for most functions of life, death, birth, and festivals. Afterwards the son and other cousins offered marigold garlands, which were put around the neck or onto the body. Next followed rose garlands. After this some sweets were placed under the chin. I offered my flower garland to my old friend with teary eyes.

The widow of the dead man, who had been sitting with all the females 15 feet above, came down the steps very slowly. She did not appear to be in good health. She came and offered her flower garland to her dead husband, then very slowly walked to his feet, touching them with her forehead, and wept, as did we all.

By this time it was 4:30 p.m. The body was wrapped onto the ladder with the sheet underneath the body and secured to the ladder with burlap strings. Six men of the immediate family then lifted and carried the body on the ladder, using their shoulders, up about 15 steps then over about 500 feet to the cremation area. The rest of the men, about 20, followed this procession, again loudly chanting Ram Nam Satya Hai. The women (about 15) stayed behind where they had been sitting.

The cremation area is by the bank of the river, the water still a 100+ feet away. There were ten to fifteen other bodies already burning on their pyres as cows wandered through. Chhotu’s body was placed on a pyre 10 feet from the river. The pyre was 4 feet across and 4 feet high. Priest presiding, ghee (clarified butter) was poured over the body. Then more firewood was piled up 3 feet above the body. Only 5-6 family members, including Sudhakar and the priest, were near the pyre. Under Vedic chants the son lit the pyre and the flames engulfed the body. Everyone then walked up to the waiting area where we stayed for about two hours while the body burnt.

By about 7 p.m. the body and pyre had burnt down, and the son and cousins threw water on the ashes, paid their last respects, and the son returned to the waiting area. That signaled the family the funeral had ended. The son next thanked everyone for their support, and the family dispersed solemnly and slowly as the cremation staff raked the ashes into the river.

Vibhaker died at noon. By 7 p.m. not a trace of him was left. Life is gone in 7 hours. In the morning he was there, in the evening he was gone…Goodbye my friend, I will see you soon!

Jitendra, your boyhood buddy!