Tuesday March 8, 2010

Yesterday was our last day in Varanasi. I will miss being awakened by the sounds of bells, drums and chanting. What I won't miss are the men spitting red juice from pan and urinating everywhere. Smita Bahoo gave me one last massage. She is very good and I appreciate her taking the time out of her very busy day to give me one. She keeps telling me we should move to Varanasi and live with the family. She and I have formed a close bond and will miss each other. Arun and Smita Bahoo are now in good shape. Both boys have finished their education and have started their careers. Anil and Anita Bahoo are not in good shape at all. Anil has not fully recovered from his stroke. Anita told JP that he is very depressed and is not thinking clearly. He is also very worried about having the money to marry off his two remaining daughters. JP had given him a lot of money five years ago to put into very safe investments which would have grown into enough money for the marriages. Unfortunately he, along with other men in the family, both in Varanasi and Gurgaon, made very bad investments in stocks, and half of the money was lost. It is very evident now why he is so depressed. JP and I will both take money from savings for the girls' marriages and hopefully other members of the family will help. Parents of girls face an awesome responsibility for marrying them into the best family they possibly can, and that takes money. I feel so bad for Anil and Anita Bahoo. They are such sweet people. I am also very worried about the future for the girls, especially Aradhana. She is very frail and gets terrible migraines often. I am going to send her some very high quality multi vitamins/minerals. All we can do is help as much as we are able with all these problems. The rest is up to the Universe.
Spice Airlines only allows 40 lbs. per bag, so we packed, repacked, and packed again until we got it right on the money. Continental allows about three times as much weight, so once we are in Delhi we will be OK. I went out on my perch as the water buffalo went by and bid them farewell. And so, with feet touching, bear hugging, and of course tears, we leave Varanasi for the last time on this trip.
The flight was only about one and a half hours, but cost an astounding $300 each, one way. $150 was tax ! Air India, the government airline, dresses the stewardesses (I know that is politically incorrect, but I don't know the alternative) in beautiful saris. Spice Airlines dresses their women in tight skirts to their knees and white tops. The tops kept blousing up out of the skirts and just looked plain awful. The Delhi airport is new and very modern. The last time I left India, there had been a strike and the all the people who cleaned the airport, including the bathrooms, had walked off the job. I cannot tell you how disgusting it was.
As usual the Delhi family was waiting for us with tea and snacks at the house when we arrived. It is much cooler here than in Varanasi, which was a nice surprise. The only change in the household is that today Komal's mother and uncle are coming to take her home to her village. Her father is dead and her mother and uncle want her married. They did agree, however, to get her engaged quickly, but wait two years before marrying her off, when she will be 18. Village girls are married at a very young age. As Mukesh and Surbhi take her to the airport, they will pick up Mukesh's mother and the new nanny she is bringing with her, at the same time. This was very smart planning because Anugia is very fond of her grandmother and this will help keep her mind off of Komal's departure. As we had tea, Shashank told us of seeing a foreign woman in a very short dress with no back walking on the street. This sort of thing is very upsetting to Indians and gives foreigners a bad name.
This morning we visited Jai's old architecture office and met the folks he used to work with. Their faces lit up when we told them who we were. Jai was very well liked there. They showed us a large graphic Jai had designed that hangs as you enter the first floor of the office. They said they were very proud of it and used it as the official logo of the company. It really was spectacular. While we were there, we called Jai and he spoke with some of them. We also brought a large box of Haldiram sweets for the office, which was greatly appreciated. Haldiram is the best sweet store in the country. They also sell the best food. Of course, most Indians cannot afford to eat there.
The next stop was to visit Archana in Delhi. Trying to find the apartment took some time as Delhi is a huge city. We finally got there and were warmly welcomed by Archana, her husband, Anshuman, and their eight month old son. As a reminder, Archana is Anil and Anita's oldest daughter. She is well educated and, like the rest of her family, a lovely person. We all had been very worried about her since she had been married over four years before she was able to have a baby. This is a very big deal in India as it is the custom for women to have a child soon after they are married. Their apartment is small, but is decorated very nicely, as we knew it would be.
Tonight we have to get out all the stuff we left here on our last trip because we had no room to take it home, and figure out how to get it home this time. More packing and repacking. Two more days left in India.

Peace,
Nadine