The members of the Delhi household are as follows:
Shyam Kashore -JP's older brother and head of the household
Bhabhi (title for your older brother's wife)- S.K's wife, grandmother
Sushil S.K. oldest son
Sunana- Sushil's wife. She is the only daughter-in-law in the household and a workhorse. She is constantly cooking, cleaning, etc. Often signs as she works. They have two sons: Shashank and Amun. Shashank is a very ernest young man who, as elder son, works with his father in their retail cloth business. I've always been concerned about him because he strives so hard to do everything right. J.P. and I were both pleased to see he now seems more relaxed and confident. He has not yet married, but will have an arranged marriage in the next few years. Amun has always been a worry. As a little kid we never even saw his face because he would hide. On our trip 4 years ago we were convinced he was autistic. Now we are not so sure. At 21 he is still very shy and says little, but he will look us in the eye and smile. He helps his father a little in the store but I can't see how he could possibly relate to customers. Surbhi is the only girl in the family. She was married off while we were here 4 years ago. In a lucky turn of events, she and her husband, Mukesh, decided to rent the second floor apartment above her parents home. This is very unusual. Most couples live with the boy's parents. Surbhi appears to be very happy in her marriage and with their beautiful little 3 year old daughter, Anugya. They both have very good jobs and can afford their 16 year old nanny, Komal. Surbhi says that Komal is very intelligent and they have asked her parents to let her stay with them and that they would pay to educate her. Her parents refused the offer and intend to marry her off soon. Komal says she will run away if her parents try to do that. I try my best not to judge situations like this and just hope that whatever happens to her, she will be happy in life. She is so bright and lively and Anugya is very attached to her.
Benita, who is new to us, is a much sadder story. She is Sunann's younger sister, age 36, but looks much younger. She has been with the family for 4 years. She and her husband had had an argument and she went home to her parent's home. After some time, he came to take her back to his home, but she refused. He threatened to kill himself if she did not return. She did not believe him and still refused to return. He drank poison and died, leaving her a widow with no children. Her in-laws disowned her and she moved to her brother's home, as her father had died and he was now head of the household. Unfortunately, her brother's wife did not like her, and she was forced to leave that home. God bless J.P's family, who have assumed responsibility for her for the last 4 years. We noticed that, although she was always in the house, she did very little work. We later found out why. She has two holes in her heart, is very week, and is not expected to live a very long life. She refuses to take her medicine, saying she has no husband or children and life is not worth living. I noticed that Benita has no gold bangles or earings. This really upsets me. A woman's gold bangles and earrings is all she ever inherits from her family and is given to her at the time of her wedding. They are never to be taken from her are an insurance policy for her and her children. J.P.'s mother's bangles kept her and her children from starvation after his father died, leaving them destitute. When she had no money for food, his mother would take her bangles to the local pawn shop and get a little money. Later, when she got hold of a bit of money, she would retrieve the bangles. This is exactly what the bangles are for. Whoever took Benita's bangles and earrings took away her safety. Being a widow in India is a very perilous thing unless you have grown sons to care for you. There is no safety net here.
Shyam Kashore and Bhabi have another son, Shashi, who lives nearby. He is a whirl wind of activity and is our primary resource for just about everything. He will always figure out a way to do what needs to be done. He and his wife Uma have a very classy home in the same development as his father and mother. She is better educated that Sunanna and has the money to provide a lovely home for her family. Their eldest son is Saurab, who works with his father in their successful wholesale cloth business. When we were here last he was just married to Shivangi, who was newly pregnant. At that time she was a terrified young bride, missing her parents, and frightened of her new life with a man she really did not know. Such is the life of a new bride in this world of arranged marriages. She is now a happy wife and mother of a beautiful 4 year old son, Divyansah. The change was amazing and gratifying to see. Nidhi, Shashi and Uma's daughter, who's fairy tale wedding was described in the first chronicles, is now the mother of a 4 year old boy and lives in Pune, a city in the south. Nidhi is one of the most truly dignified people I have ever met. She is very intelligent, gracious, and graceful. She was married into a wealthy, educated family. I am sure they are pleased as punch with her.
Friday Jan. 15 was a partial eclipse of the sun, called Suryagrahan, when the sun is being s 11:30 AM towallowed by the deamon Rahu. The eclipse lasted for three and a half hours, beginning at 11:30AM. During that time you are not to bathe, eat, sleep, or clip your nails. I have no idea why. Afterwards you are to bathe in the river. I will ask my old friends, Bindu and Paramjit Singh, to fill in any info they have on events like this and to correct any misinformation I might give you.
As I sat in the sun outside the Delhi house, which is really in Gurgaon, I noticed 6 huge birds on the neighbor's roof. It took me a minute to realize they were peacocks. They actually belong to the neighborhood temple, but roam around during the day. They were huge, but I was told they were just babies.
I'm getting a headache from wearing my glasses for so long, so will close for now.
Peace,
Nadine
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